A Plain English Guide to TOS - Steam

Feature from Mirne - Saturday, 13 August 2011 @ 1:37am

I know a little bit of Latin.

Not enough to do anything with it, but enough to prima facie confuse others. This is something lawyers do a lot of, combined with an excessive use of legalese. I know, it’s annoying, especially in things that you’d actually want to understand. Most of the time it’s boring too. The sheer fact that it’s boring, and in the way of an end goal, is the reason why most people will skip past the ‘Terms of Service’ agreements and click ‘I agree.’

I’m sure you’re all familiar with ignorantia juris non excusat. So in order to fill you in on what you just e-signed I’ve prepared a guide. Think of it as the SparkNotes to the Steam Subscriber Agreement. You’re welcome.

1. REGISTRATION AND ACTIVATION.

This is an easy section, just outlining the process of registration and activation of a Steam account. It’s pretty much saying Steam is personal use software which, unless you run a licensed cyber-café (which is just any net-café that follows its net-café agreement) and are allowed to use it commercially, you keep it to yourself, buddy.

And they mean it. Once you create an account, you are solely responsible for anything that happens to it. You are not allowed to give out your password, sell your account and the 350 unplayed games for profit and if it gets hacked then bad luck, it was your stupid ass that didn’t have enough computer security.

If my interpretation seems harsh, my reason is that contracts always make me think that they’re saying things angrily at you. I’ve tried to capture that.

2. LICENSES

This section tells you what you can do with Steam. Short answer, don’t screw around with the software, and if you do, don’t make a profit. This belongs to Valve, not you, and the amount of ownership you have is to download the Steam client (as much as you want as long as you aren’t selling it) open that bad boy up, and let Valve make the updates and changes.

Steam is a subscription service. You don’t buy games. You buy subscriptions to games. The games are like rentals at a video store, where the staff are too lazy to follow up late returns, so you can almost fall into the trap of thinking these games are yours now. But, just as a warning, they can take those games back whenever they want, so treasure them now and don’t get too indignant later on, since, well, you agreed to this.

Valve allows access for free use of its SDK, in the hope that you’ll get out there, make some mods and keep its gaming communities going. If you’re looking for fun AND profit (and can interest Valve in a piece of the action, I presume), send them an email first. (But again, don’t screw with their merch!)

3. MERCHANDISE

Speaking of, Valve makes mention of the merchandising aspect of Steam. They note that while, not a big part of Steam they may incidentally sell some tangible, hold in your hand stuff on the side too. These are your fairly run-of-the-mill conditions regarding shipping and returns.

Some things to note, risk passes from Valve to you either when a) Valve drops the stuff at to a carrier at a designated shipping point – I’m guessing when it loads it onto a courier van, or if you’re b) picking it up, risk passes once it’s been popped into your hands and out of theirs. This means that once this has happened, Valve accepts no responsibility for damage of the property. If your Boomer plushie gets involved in an accident on its way to you, well, sorry, it was your fault for being so unlucky.

The return policy is 30 days. Keep the receipt and send it back to Valve in this time and they’ll repair, replace or refund you for the trouble. Wait more than a month, and you can take your faulty merchandise and…well, that’s it really.

4. BILLING, PAYMENT AND OTHER SUBSCRIPTIONS

Steam may not always be free. But don’t worry; you’ll have 30 days notice to cry foul. If you don’t, then your silence is taken as an agreement and you will be charged. If you’re already paying subscription fees on a game, then if either you or Valve cancels your account don't expect to recover the money you’ve paid. This includes money you had in your Steam Wallet.

If taxes apply to the sale of online goods in your country, then they will be applied, and you will have to pay them. So all this talk about a tax on online things in Australia can and will apply to Steam games. Which sucks.

Also, Valve would really appreciate it if you updated your credit card details. Just sayin'.

5. ONLINE CONDUCT, CHEATING AND ILLEGAL BEHAVIOR

Don’t be a multiplayer cheater, Valve will take your games away or tell other multiplayer games that you’re a cheater and a liar, and no fun. And no one will like you. Cheater.

6. THIRD PARTY CONTENT

Valve doesn’t really look at the third party content, so if you see, hear, or download something you don’t like that Valve didn’t specifically make then don’t bitch to them - they don’t care.

7. USER GENERATED INFORMATION

Your chat, forum posts, screen names, game selections, player performances, usage data, suggestions about Valve products or services, and error notifications (and other stuff too that they couldn’t think of at the time) belong to Valve. So for the love of all that is holy don’t post a picture of your cock on the forums because they have the power to make 1000 copies of it, or modify it so it looks like your junk now has a sombrero and maracas.

8. DEDICATED SERVER

Go nuts with the Dedicated Server software, and spread the multiplayer love around.

9. DISCLAIMERS; LIMITATION OF LIABILITY; NO GUARANTEES

We have reached the juicy part.

Firstly, the risk remains with you. Steam does not want your problems. If you have a problem, you take it outside, and you go complain on a forum (not Steam’s), or a blog, or a toilet block, or whatever you want to complain on. You don’t get warranty. You don't get squat. You take Steam as it is, and you better enjoy it? You got it?!

Valve and its brotherhood of licensors and affiliates. If you suffer loss or damage to your subscriptions – wake up one day and all the Steam files are corrupted and won’t let you re-download? – It’s your fault. You make some sweet downloadable love to Steam and get a virus? Steam throws you a towel and tells you to clean yourself up. You won’t get a cent from them (and there are a lot of ways that you can get cents from them, but they’ve decided to cover those bases just in case). You might not even be able to get the games again without having to re-subscribe. (Handy hint: Keep your receipts.) Valve has tried to minimise their liability as much as they possibly can, and this means that practically anything and everything that can go wrong with Steam, is in no way Valve's fault.

A lot of contracts are not able to contract out of liability fully like this. A little earlier in the agreement there was a note that said that this was in application to the fullest extent of the 'common law'. This doesn't include Equity and Statute, two very important areas. I'll talk about this more in the future. (Unless it gets boring. Then I'll talk about the dude who attempted to have sex with a horse but wasn't guilty of bestiality. That's a fun case.)

But all this may not apply to you if you’re a resident of a European Union Country. (Neat!) Of which Australia is not. (Aww.)

10. EXCLUSIVE REMEDIES

This is what Valve puts forward as your course of action if you don’t like something. You get out. You cancel your account and get out. That’s it. That’s what you get.

If you bought some merch, you can get the amount you paid for back. Then get out.

11. INDEMNIFICATION

This is the section where, even though Valve assumes as little liability as it possibly can have (at least in the realm of common law), it cements its position by saying that you agree to let them do what they like, the little scamps. By indemnifying them from liability, it’s pretty much making you seem like the one who gave them permission to do what they like. Because you did.

12. AMENDMENTS TO THIS AGREEMENT

Valve can change the terms any time and you have 30 days to get out or auto-accept. So they could include a clause for your chat font to only be in Comic Sans on Thursdays and you would just have to deal with it.

Valve, if you're reading this, how about Free Candy Friday? That’s actually something I could get behind.

13. TERM AND TERMINATION

So what can you do if Steam decides it’s over? Well, firstly, if you’re discontent with your current Steam experience, then you can cancel your account and go on your merry way. You don’t want to? Then too bad. Either suck it up, or get lost.

Don’t expect to get any money back. In its discretion, Steam may refund any half paid monthly subscriptions that then get memory holed out of existence. They may also give you a limited time use of a stand-alone version of a game you bought (you can play it without Steam for a little bit then it’s gone). But they don’t have to. It would be out of the goodness of Valve’s heart.

Oh, and just in case you forgot, Steam Wallet funds are non-refundable.

14. APPLICABLE LAW/JURISDICTION

If you’re going to be difficult and start legal proceedings, you’re going to have to do so in the State of Washington, and use their laws. I must admit, I’m a little rusty, but give me a few years, a Juris Doctor, and admission into the Washington Bar and I’ll help you out. Mates Rates.

15. MISCELLANEOUS

Don’t use Steam for terrorism.

Sign here, please.

CONCLUSION

Don’t take this guide as some kind of anti-Steam/Valve sentiment, because it’s not. Contracts are always angry and seek to get their party out of as much trouble as they can. You can’t blame them for trying to cover their asses and not have everyone who experiences a problem on Steam suing them because they gave their password to a Swahili prince who really wanted to play Portal 2 AND sell you Viagra. That takes away from Valve making more games – and you don’t want to be the guy who disrupts Half Life 3, do you?

Plus, I love Steam. I will gladly keep using Steam. Steam has given me more in the way of ease of access, affordability (although price discrepancies between the different regions does make me sad) and choice that, for me, easily outweighs the dark possibilities lurking within the Steam Subscriber Agreement. Sure I would hate to lose a bunch of games I hadn’t got around to playing yet (some I even paid full price for!) but I don’t think I’d have the tolerance to keep 86 game discs in any sort of organisational system.

However, in an effort to be more open minded, I will be opening my heart (and wallet) to other digital distribution services.

Check back in a few days time, because I’ll be providing the run down on Origin’s Service Agreement, and also provide some shaky legal advice as given by a 3rd year Law/Creative Writing student.

Whose GPA isn’t fantastic.